Lasting Impression

My first boyfriend and I were together for 3-years. I tried to break up with him a couple of times and he threatened to run his car into a tree. Of course I did not want to live with that for the rest of my life! During a one-night break up he showed up the next day, begging to me to take him back while having hickeys on his neck from a fellow classmate. This classmate was a friend and knew she didn't understand the situation, so I have never held anything against her. 

Then he began seeing someone else behind my back, I figured it out fairly quickly, she worked at the steak house with him. Having been a shy kid, you learn to observe, rather than talk. Or at least I did. This other girl even showed up to his graduation ceremony while I was sitting in the stands with his parents. I had never met her but she was the only one at the Civic Center by herself, and the only name she clapped for was his. How I picked her out of thousand people, I will never know, I just had a feeling she would show up. 

So I finally, given the evidence had a reason he would accept for me breaking up with him. He of course made me feel as if I had ruined his world. This is when the stalking began. 

Every night after leaving his job at the steak house, he would slowly drive his car by my house. How did I know? A 77' Olds Cutlass has a specific sound. Plus when I heard it while lying in bed, I looked out the second floor window of my bedroom, and there he was. 

He literally continued to do this for about a year. And within that time, I met someone else and started dating exclusively. One night when my parent were out of town, I invited my new boyfriend over. In the back of my mind I thought, what if my ex drives by and see's his car? How would he even now what his car looked like? (It was a cute baby blue VW bug w/ no heat)...Anyhow,  while me and my current boyfriend were sitting on the couch, holding hands watching a movie, I hear the metal railing on the front porch "ping". Looking out the window, there was the ex, walking back to his car parked in the middle of the street. The two of them proceeded to circle the block looking for each other. Needless to say, I fist fight on the front lawn was narrowly thwarted by myself, but not until after I was shoved. 


Literally, for a good 5-years plus after the first drive-by, I would get that stomach "pang" every time I heard a similar car engine. And for not quite as long but long enough, I felt on-guard everywhere I went for fear of my 1st boyfriend to confronting me. 


He is married now and has kids, I assume as I have too, matured and are better able to handle our feelings and relationships. We all have our "crazy" but it is up to each of us to deal with it and not let it out on others.